sovietnam:

(Source: youtu.be, via emily-the-lemon)

felitomkinson:

bitchycode:

roses are red, i’m going to bed

#violets are blue #damn bitch me too

(via zackisontumblr)

If I dial 6-6-6, will that take me to Satan’s Hotline?

S:  What’s up fuckers??  It’s ya boi Lucifer here at 666.0 the Humanity on AM radio!  My next caller is from Jim from Vermont.  WHAT DO YOU WANT JIMBO.

Jimbo:  Heyy! Long-time listener, first-time caller oh but it’s actually Carl, sir?  Um Oh Dear Dark Lord, could you find it deep in the gallows of your blackest heart to play some Freebird?  It’s my death day today and I was hoping get a request in.  Please don’t kill me again.

S:  Well well well Happy Death Day, slave!  Here’s your twenty-one gun salute, A 17-MINUTE COMPILATION OF TEETH GRINDING ON PAVEMENT.  Happy Death Day, Jimbo!  (Don’t call back or I’ll probe you)

starsberrisnunicorns:

same ENERGY

(via lordofspies)